Topic
Practice giving and receiving feedback at work
Giving feedback means describing what you noticed, explaining the impact and hearing the other person’s account. Receiving it means understanding the example before deciding what you agree with.
TalkCraft drills both sides. Short, specific scenarios (a missed deadline, a tone issue, a performance review) with a coach note on every choice.
iPhone · Free download · In-app purchases
Conversations this covers
- A missed deadline you need to name without making it personal
- A tone issue in Slack that's starting to grate
- A performance review you're not looking forward to
- Feedback from a peer that stung more than it should have
- A direct report who goes defensive every time
- A manager whose feedback feels vague and moving
A written practice example
This is what a rep looks like.
An abbreviated web adaptation of “You Seem Defensive”, from the Receiving Feedback Without Defensiveness course, module “Stay Grounded When Feedback Hits a Nerve”. Each reply has its own coach note. This sample shows the choice-based learning format; exact wording may differ by app version.
- Two dedicated courses: Difficult Conversations at Work and Receiving Feedback Without Defensiveness.
- Multiple-choice replies grounded in specific work situations, with a coach note on why a reply sounds warm, sharp, vague or defensive.
- Lessons and drills on specific observations, impact, questions and next steps.
- Practice by choosing written replies. No TalkCraft account is required.
In your 1:1, your manager Casey looks hesitant. You immediately want to explain yourself.
I want to share something a bit uncomfortable.
In a few meetings, when people push on your ideas, you come across defensive.
- Option A: Thanks for telling me. I'm feeling a little activated, so I'm going to take a breath. Can you give me the most recent example?Coach note
You paused before answering and asked for a concrete example.
- Option B: I don't think that's fair. People keep re-litigating decisions I've already made.Coach note
You jumped to justification before understanding what Casey means.
- Option C: Oh. Okay. I'll work on it.Coach note
You stayed calm, but you didn't get anything you can act on.
Be specific and leave room for an answer
'Three totals don’t match the source sheet' identifies something to check. 'You’re careless' labels the person. Explain the impact you actually observed, then ask 'What happened from your side?' Specific wording helps identify the issue, but it does not guarantee that someone will agree.
Receiving feedback is a skill too
You can take a comment seriously without accepting every part. Try: 'Can you give me the most recent example?' Then separate what you accept from what you dispute: 'I agree I cut the discussion short. I don’t agree that I ignored the risk—the decision log records it.' Seek a correction where the record is inaccurate.
Three patterns that make feedback bounce
Watch for a vague request like 'be more professional,' an assumed motive like 'you don’t care,' or a standard you never explained. As a new manager, check your own role: did you provide clear priorities and enough support? Agree on a practical next action and a date to review it.
Example wording to adapt
Opening a hard feedback conversation: 'I want to flag something from the Tuesday standup so we can handle it while it's fresh.' Correcting without escalating: 'That came across differently than I think you meant. Can I show you what I heard?' Receiving feedback without folding: 'I want to make sure I understood. Can you give me the most recent example?' Short lines that hold their shape when you're flustered.
Practice it in the app
Courses and modules for this topic
Difficult Conversations at Work
- Give Hard Feedback Clearly
- Accountability Without Blame
Receiving Feedback Without Defensiveness
- Understand What Kind of Feedback You're Getting
- Stay Grounded When Feedback Hits a Nerve
- Respond Well to Feedback You Disagree With
- Ask for Useful Feedback and Turn It Into Action
Leadership Conversations
- Set Expectations Early and Clearly
Read first
Conversation Notes on this topic
- Feedback
What to say when someone reacts defensively to feedback
Pause, ask what they heard, check the facts, and return to a specific next step. A reaction is information, not proof that your feedback was right.
6 min read - Feedback
Give feedback without sounding harsh
Be specific and respectful. Ask what happened from their side before deciding what should change.
5 min read - Feedback
Receive criticism without getting defensive
Ask for the specific example, separate what you accept from what you dispute, and agree on a useful next step.
4 min read - Difficult Conversations
Have a difficult conversation without making it worse
Prepare one observable example and the outcome you need. Raise it privately, ask for their account, and agree who will do what by when.
6 min read - Trust repair
Repair trust after a mistake at work
Own the mistake, acknowledge its impact, apologize, and say what you will repair by when. Then report what actually happened.
5 min read
Rehearse it once before the real one.
Choose a written reply. Read the coach note. Consider another approach.